Trauma. It’s the new cultural buzzword. As it gains traction in popularity, it carries with it benefits and potentially harmful outcomes.
If we are going to have a discussion about trauma, we should first identify an accurate definition. In his book, The Myth of Normal, Gabor Mate M.D. says,
“Trauma is a Greek word for wound. Literally that’s what it means. So when you understand that, then you realize…trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you. Trauma is not the event that inflicted the wound. So, the trauma is not the sexual abuse, the trauma is not the war. Trauma is not the abandonment. The trauma is not the inability of your parents to see you for who you were. Trauma is the wound that you sustained as a result.”
Gabor Mate, MD
If we take this interpretation of trauma, we can begin to dissect the ways we use the word inappropriately. Trauma is not the painful experiences themselves, even the worst kinds we can imagine, it is the body’s resulting consequences of difficult events that we experienced (or good experiences we were deprived of). This is why two people can live through the same event and one will develop trauma symptoms and another will not.
I once heard a phenomenal analogy that I retell frequently. I wish I could remember where I originally heard it so I could credit the creator. The concept goes like this:
Imagine that each person in the world is a plate. Now consider the many types of plates you have encountered. Some are made of flimsy paper, others are ornate pottery. Some are plastic. Some can endure being heated in the microwave, others should only be washed by hand. There are a million different sizes and shapes. Some can only hold enough food for a toddler. Some are designed to carry the weight of a Thanksgiving feast. Some are designed with dividers to separate individual foods. Others look a little like a bowl, with tall edges capable of carrying food that is dripping with sauces.
Just as each plate is created with different capabilities, so is each human. No plate is capable of meeting all demands of every different style. Our genetics, experiences, developmental stage in life, current stress levels and many other factors determine which type of “plate” we are functioning as. What happens if we expect each person to carry the weight of life exactly the same? Imagine loading a turkey leg, a baked potato, and gravy onto a small, colorful party plate. What happens? The plate will bend under the weight and also become soggy from the gravy. Or think of your grandmother’s beautiful antique china being used to serve snacks to your rowdy toddler. It is going to chip and break under the task it was given. A paper plate could feed a child and precious china could hold a feast. Each person has unique capacity to withstand unique circumstances.
Things that would have severe consequences for me might be something you would brush off. But things I think are small could bring you to your knees. This is why it is imperative that we withhold a judgmental attitude when we see others struggle under situations we consider light. They are not weak, their plate is simply different than yours.
God perfected His creation in the Garden of Eden. He created mankind to live in a utopia fit for afternoon strolls with Him. Our bodies were not made to withstand this level of brokenness. And thus, when our sin-marked world crashes into us, sometimes the outcomes are devastating.
In this world, hearts break. Bodies break. Minds break. It is a consequence of the sin that runs rampant in the streets of our communities and in our own veins.
No person will walk out of this life unscathed. We all have painful situations or are deprived of care that we need to ensure emotional and developmental health. Traumatic events are specific moments in our lives that have the potential to induce long-term consequences. Living through a traumatic event does not mean that you will develop trauma. That outcome is determined by a host of things, some of which I already touched on: our biology, age, available support systems, past experiences, etc. If Dr. Mate is correct in his research, then trauma is the wound we sustain from these events. The extent of those wounds is determined by our individual factors.
The good news is that if trauma is a wound, then it can be healed.
If a wound is sustained from an event, there is a window of time that the mind and body must move through healing. Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a diagnosable condition characterized by lingering effects that last for more than six months. It is important to note that there are several caveats to this diagnosis that must be evaluated by an experienced professional. One of those defining characteristics is that the wounds are negatively affecting the person’s life on a daily basis.
Complex PTSD (sometimes abbreviated at c-PTSD or CPTSD) is a term used by professionals to describe wounds sustained by repeated traumatic events. This could include chronic neglect or abuse. It is not currently a distinct diagnosis in the DSM-5, the official book that chronicles all accepted diagnoses and criteria for mental health and brain-related conditions. This is used by both psychologists (who are non-medical professionals) and physicians alike. While CPTSD is not currently recognized from a diagnostic perspective, it is becoming more widely recognized in the world of mental health. Studies are proving the detrimental effects of living with chronic traumatic stress, both on the mind and body.
Going back to our plate analogy, think of an adult who experienced a safe and mostly nurturing home as a child. If that person goes through a traumatic event, he will have certain appropriate coping skills that have been learned to help aid in his recovery of the experience. This person may have a sturdy plate, capable of holding weight that feels heavy for a time and then becomes less bothersome. But a child who experienced repeated abuse may grow into an adult holding a plate that is already chipped or cracked. A new traumatic event dropped onto this plate may cause extreme bending or breaking altogether.
When we use words like “trauma” and “PTSD” we are bringing meaningful awareness to serious issues. But when we use them flippantly, we reduce the weight of their meaning. These terms are important to hold in high esteem because of what they mean for survivors of heinous and tragic events.
Trauma is a reality in our world. As Christians, we should explore how Jesus and trauma interact. We must learn these things so that we can shoulder the burdens required of us in this world, but also so that we can walk alongside those who struggle with pains we do not have. We must not grow weary in love towards those seriously wounded in this life. We are not without hope, and thus we must remain unsatisfied until all others know of the hope available to them.
“Remember that you were at that time separated from Christ…having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ.” Ephesians 2:12&13
This world is broken and will not be whole again until Jesus returns to make all sad things untrue. Christians experience trauma and live with PTSD just as non-Christians do, but there is a significant difference. While we may battle with the darkness of trauma, we do not wrestle in vain.
We know that Jesus left heaven to put on flesh and dwell amongst us (John 1:14). He both witnessed the brokenness of our world firsthand and experienced it Himself. He knew the grief of loss, the stab of betrayal, the stress of impending doom, physical torture of His body, and every other distress we experience. Think of how He drew near to those bent over under the strain of chronic disease and demonic torment. There is no situation we could find ourselves in that He has not willingly experienced Himself. And even in all of His own trauma responses, He refused to sin.
I am in no way suggesting that people who have been abused and mistreated are responsible for the atrocities committed against them. Nor do I think the body’s natural response to trauma, such as fight, flight, freeze, and a host of other physical symptoms are sinful.
I do believe that as mature adults, we are responsible for acknowledging how these experiences affected us and do the hard work to prevent us from allowing our hurts to in turn hurt others.
As one abused generation bleeds its pain onto the next, those hunched over under the burden of trauma have to learn to not only manage their own symptoms but refuse to pass it onto others by their actions. And here we see Jesus. He refused to hurt others even in the devastation of His own pain. Do you see what great news this is?!
When we are aching under the curse of this world, we have a Friend who not only endured the same, but accomplished it blamelessly! This is the kind of God Who can be trusted.
This means that He can carry our heaviest burdens. If He can hold His own pain and not spill it onto others, He is mighty enough to shoulder ours also. He certainly holds the potential to heal our deepest traumas. But even if He does not heal, He will draw near. He will carry it with us. AND He can teach us how to not drip our brokenness onto others. He has lived this. And He has lived this in holy perfection.
“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:14-16
Read it again and let your heart sing with delight at this glorious news! He knows our every weakness, has endured our every trial, and is still holy. Because He has conquered, we can draw near to His throne with CONFIDENCE. And once there, He promises we will receive mercy and enough grace to sustain us in our time of need.
Christian, hold fast to this truth. Let it bore deep into your soul until it overflows. If you carry trauma wounds, know you are loved by the One who conquered all. Perhaps you walk with pain that no one knows, or you have only pulled a corner of the curtain back for some to see. Jesus sees you. He offers to meet you in this pain and shoulder it too. If you happen to hold a strong or previously mended plate, recognize it for the gift it is. Walk in humility knowing that a sturdy plate does not make you better than others or immune from future cracks.
May we all work together to understand trauma and how it affects our neighbor. And may we follow the lead of Jesus who does not turn His face from us in our confusion and pain.
Let us walk with patience and understanding.
I’m rooting for you as we follow the Shepherd home,
