Triggers and Therapy

Our culture and social media are flooded with language that would have baffled the population a mere decade ago.

The trend of therapy and working on the self seems to climb upward every day. I, for one, find it to be a fascinating swing from what was considered the norm just a generation ago. It is one I am happy to see.

With the rise in access to various platforms to disclose our deepest life experiences, we are beginning to witness a generation focused on the inward experience instead of outward appearances. It is an intriguing balance, this desire to be true to self, while also posting life’s highlights on social media as though they are every day occurrences.

I grew up in the deep South, where it was culturally expected to attend church regularly and wear a smile at all costs. Exposure to different lifestyles in adulthood as well as becoming a mother is constantly giving me an expanding perspective. I believe social media and technology plays a massive role in this phenomenon as well.

Instead of generations of families birthing, living, and dying in the same handful of towns, we see family units spread across the country, and even the world.

We are exposed to new ideas and ways of life unimaginable 100 years ago.

The opportunity for some brave people to share their stories, grants the courage to others to begin to share their own. Neurological and biological studies became more advanced and accessible.  And so light begins to shine in dark corners of the forests of family trees.

Generational patterns become exposed and compared to others’ lived experiences. Both trends and abnormalities in family lines start to become visible.

Millennials and subsequent generations have a level of comfort with professional therapy that previous generations seemed to shy away from- possibly from stigmas, the desire to conform to the family unit as a whole, unique religious beliefs, lack of access, and a variety of other reasons.

I have a passion to study and explain how genuine Christianity both aligns with and opposes current understandings of trauma. If you search under the “Trauma” tab on the blog, you will find articles gently explaining trauma as well as navigating relationships with children living with its effects.

Today, I would like to touch on some frequently used words that may sound a little foreign to those not well-versed in the world of trauma. (Although, here’s a hint- you probably have more experience in this area than you realize, you just might not have the language for it yet.) Since I don’t have the length of a book to write, we’ll start with just two words, and perhaps return for a longer list at a later date.

One key word you might hear is trigger.  This refers to any sensory experience that causes a person to mentally regress to a specific memory.

Let’s use it in a positive example first. You come home from a long day of work, open the door, and the smell of lasagna in the oven wafts under your nose. You are overwhelmed at the warmth that spreads over your body as it recalls the loving emotions of Sunday lunch at your grandmother’s house. You may not consciously relive the happy memory of her loving embrace and happy chatter around a table of pasta and garlic bread, but your mind is recalling the event even if your brain does not replay the memories. The body always remembers. And so you may find yourself sighing, your blood pressure calming, your tense shoulders dropping, and your mood improving.

Now consider a trigger of a painful memory. It begins to snow outside and your mood shifts. Despite the children’s excited giggles, all you feel is dread. You become snappy and on edge. While you may not consciously be making the connection, your body is recognizing the patterns related to the day you received the most devastating news of your life. The cold temperature and falling snowfall is making your body relive the agony, and now your “lower brain” is taking over, bracing your heart and mind for the worst to happen again.

For people with complex or multiple traumas, triggers can happen dozens of times in a day. Imagine the exhaustion it takes to stay emotionally regulated and relationally functional when your subconscious mind is dragging you back to the worst moments of your existence.

This is where Christians need to use extreme caution when they say popular phrases like, “I am not responsible for your triggers.”

That statement is true. You are not responsible for the feelings or actions of others. But this arrogant mindset is unhelpful at best and downright cruel at its worst.

We are all broken people, all triggered to varying degrees by millions of sensory inputs. We all deserve compassion as we navigate our paths in this difficult life, even if someone is using the word “trigger” out of context. As Christians, we do have an obligation to interact with others in kindness, especially if they tell us something in their lives is painful.

Therapy is another word that may seem mysterious to entire groups of people who were denied its benefits for a variety of reasons.

Therapy usually refers to an appointment a person makes with a professional trained to walk though life’s different seasons with his or her client. Therapy can be used for things like anxiety, OCD, grief, betrayal, abuse, assault, divorce, marriage, parenting, or life changes. Therapy is also beneficial in helping the body reduce its painful response to triggers.

My opinion is that a good therapist is a beneficial tool for every person living in this modern world. We all have experiences we need to process and understand with a non-judgmental, kind, listening ear. And we need people willing to push back against us when we walk into sin.

A good friend may be able to provide much of that but may lack the skills to help you see multiple perspectives or how to take steps towards deeper healing. Most negative opinions I hear about therapy come from lack of knowledge of what it truly is, or experiences with, frankly, just bad therapists. Not everyone is great at their profession, and this is why it is important to find a therapist who is a good fit for your personality and well-versed in your specific challenges.

Consider that this is how God originally designed humans to live with one another to begin with!

We see God’s commands for Christians to live in love with one another and others.

In a perfect world where Christians live out the commands of God, caring gently and lovingly for each other and those around them, therapy would mostly be unnecessary.

But because we live in a broken world full of hard and sad things, we need doctors to work for our physical health, just as psychologists can be beneficial working with us for our emotional and mental health.

Most therapy appointments involve sitting across from a professional and discussing anything that feels distressing. The job of the therapist is not to give advice, but rather to listen and lovingly challenge you towards growth as well as possibly opening your eyes to unhealthy thought or life patterns you display.

Depending on the needs of the client, the therapist may recommend adding additional treatments to traditional talk therapy. These things could look like grounding work, breathing techniques, EMDR, inner-child work, family or marriage counseling, psychological testing, or seeking out a medical professional that could help the client through a tough season with medication.

Children can also benefit greatly from therapists as they navigate life changes, growth spurts into new levels of cognitive and emotional levels, past histories of abuse, or challenges with siblings or peers.

As a Christian, I see great benefit in finding a therapist who has a similar worldview to your own. This is because I believe the Author of all healing- physical, mental, and emotional- is God. Just as God can heal pneumonia with modern medication, He can provide extreme levels of healing by using the tools professional therapists have at their fingertips.

Psychology is a newer science in our world. The study of the will and emotions did not exist as a class or a profession until the relatively recent past, at least not in its current form. It is important to also remember that psychology is a soft science. This means that even though there are studies with hypotheses and results, the minds of human beings are not black and white.

Psychology is therefore not equivalent to having labs drawn at a hospital and a doctor saying, “You definitively have this specific disease.”

Psychology can gather information, chart it across countries and generations, but it is hard to quantify the malleability of the human mind, will, and emotion. Sadness one day does not equal diagnosable depression, for example.

Therapists can provide benefit from their years of study and desire to serve, sometimes in ways pastors may not be ready to do.

Again, I am not attempting to step outside God’s perfect plan for His people. He calls pastors to shepherd the hearts of the people in their congregations. Local churches should be filled with elders who have proven years of compassion and commitment to the spiritual and emotional health of its members.

But there are situations where a pastor perhaps lacks experience, for example in counseling a family navigating the sexual abuse of a child by a neighbor. He may know the Scriptures by heart, but not have ever sat across from a woman reeling from the infidelity of her husband. Perhaps he can call to repentance the heart of a person caught in addiction, but lack the knowledge of how to help that person navigate his triggers, or the root cause of the pain that wants to be numb.

A loving pastor unaware of how trauma alters the mind and body, can unintentionally do harm to his sheep. For example, strongly encouraging a person’s actions, even when Biblical, should be weighed with whether that person is functioning in their logical brain, or in their lower “fight” or “flight” brain. That person will be unable to make a clear, healthy decision if the brain is solely focused on survival.

Pastors have a high calling given to them from God Himself. And He calls them to live a life of purity, devoted to Him and the people under his care. But this does not mean a pastor cannot reach out and use resources available to Him. God has granted wisdom and compassion to many of His people, and pastors do well to use all functional members of the body of Christ to benefit the entirety of that body.

Pastors have a unique opportunity to use their (hopefully) firm understanding of Scripture to use as a filter for studies of modern psychology. I am not implying that every technique used in therapy is helpful, or even Biblical. But let’s not throw out good things God has given us without using discernment as to what is beneficial for the church.

Let’s take the time to understand new things before we make a decision about if or how they can be used in a specific situation. Above all, let’s love like Jesus.