This fall kicks off our tenth year of homeschooling!
I am far from an expert but a decade of this lifestyle has taught me a few things. In celebration of this milestone, I want to share with you some lessons I have learned and address questions we are commonly asked!
How did you decide to homeschool?
Homeschooling was something I never set out to do! In fact, it was not even my plan to be a fulltime stay-at-home mom. As I neared the end of my first pregnancy, I intended to pursue a nursing career and further my education in that field. When the baby arrived, my vision for our lives changed. I never found a local job opening that allowed me as a new nurse to stay home with her around my husband’s work schedule, so job hunting pushed further and further out of our primary focus.
My daughter has a late birthday, so she missed the cutoff for school enrollment when it was time for preschool. She was more than ready for focused education so I researched and bought curriculum intending to homeschool until she could enroll in school.
Instead, we fell in love with homeschooling and have been doing it ever since!
How do you choose curriculum?
This is something I anxiously wrestled with in the beginning. Now, it is something I give great consideration to each year, but no longer fret over. Our first couple of years, I exclusively bought “kits” that include every subject for the same grade. I focused heavily on not just academic excellence but being above grade level. I did not have the confidence that I had the ability to teach my children and relied exclusively on one or two teaching methods.
Adding a few more kids to the mix taught me a lot about how each brain is wired to learn differently. One of my kids thrives with tons of worksheets, another needs hands-on manipulatives to grasp a concept. Some learn better from listening, others from reading.
Over the years, we have branched out and tried many brands of curriculum with a variety of teaching methods. Time has given me the confidence to see that I know my children well and can adapt each subject to their unique needs. Currently, we use a mix of curricula. I have found that using different publishers for different subjects and for different kids leads us to greater success. Each semester I evaluate what is working and adjust as needed.
Are you opposed to public schools or private schools?
Nope! Sometimes people are surprised to learn that our son attended public school for almost three years. It was a great fit for him until it wasn’t. But that does not mean it will never be the right choice in the future for him or our daughters to attend a school.
My husband and I have a discussion every summer about each individual child and decide what is the best choice for the upcoming school year for each of them. Now that they are older, we also ask their opinions and weigh that into the decision. Personally, I believe each family should consider what is the best choice for their unique situation. I’ve experienced poor curricula in public schools, private schools, and homeschools. I’ve also witnessed incredible teachers in public, private, and homeschools. Each city and state has different regulations, cultures, and a multitude of other factors that impact how traditional schooling plays out.
I also believe that not every family is called to homeschool. And not every family is called to homeschool in every season. Life changes; God’s sovereignty does not. Prayerfully asking what He wants for your family in this chapter is wise.
How do you socialize your children?
This has become a hot topic for non-homeschoolers. Ha! When the question is posed to me, I like to ask what education has looked like historically over the generations. There is evidence of all sorts of education over the millennia- around the kitchen table, in small groups, in apprenticeships, in little red schoolhouses with one teacher for the town, and many other styles. It is a relatively new concept for children to be clustered by birthyear and seated in a classroom for a large portion of the day.
In fact, if you want to, you will find emerging research that shows homeschooled children often surpass traditionally schooled children in healthy socialization. Consider the average workplace. Employees are not grouped by age. Mastering interaction with a wide age range of peers is a beneficial skill for all aspects of life.
Socialization for homeschooling parents is a priority just as it is for traditionally schooling parents. Most parents see the value of their children learning kindness, friendship, navigating altercations, and understanding different worldviews and cultures. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. You will find children that struggle with relationships in homeschooling and traditional schooling, just as you will find adults who excel and wrestle with social skills. Schooling style does not change a person’s natural personality.
For our family, homeschooling allows our children to interact with children that are both older and younger than themselves. Because of the flexible schedule, our kids get to navigate all sorts of relationships they may not have access to if they were traditional schoolers. Without nightly homework, we can participate in many evening extracurriculars. We can travel to new places and meet new people without the schedule of a school. They get to interact with trusted, loving adults as we go about our day that they would not see as often if they were in school.
A few years ago, we also joined a co-op. It has been a great fit for our family in this season! One day a week, my kids get to participate in classes taught by other mothers and interact with a large group of children from nursery-age to seniors in high school. Each family homeschools a little differently, so they are exposed to all different kinds of teaching methods, and even take some specialized classes I would have to out-source anyway. Each semester they enroll in new classes and have learned all sorts of amazing things! They’ve taken violin, art, foreign language, sciences and dissection, history, and extra fun things like Lego-building, cooking, and P.E.
What are the downsides to homeschooling?
This answer probably varies wildly from family to family. For us, it can be the extra time and cost it takes to choose curricula. As we inch closer to high school, we also have to navigate applicable laws in our state. There is heightened pressure to ensure your children are thoroughly educated to pursue any goals they have for after high school, such as college, a career, or whatever the Lord calls them to.
Striving for academic excellence is a good and right thing, but it can become overwhelming to realize it rests on your shoulders. Even school teachers are not responsible for a student’s entire academic career. Homeschooling is a heavy responsibility and commitment.
Sometimes I wonder if the kids will “miss out” on typical memories, like sports, band, prom, or other things. Truthfully, that concern fades quickly when I give it more thought and realize those events were not defining points in my life or for most of the adults I know. Day to day decisions, disciplines, and relationships were far more formative. As homeschooling becomes more popular, we also find many opportunities to allow the kids to participate in those types of “normal” events if they choose to.
The hardest part of homeschooling for me personally, is the actual daily discipline of schooling. There is a lot of inner accountability required to succeed at educating your children amidst the many temptations to take a day off when it is not necessary (such as for illness, appointments, etc.). I have found many other mothers say similar things. Exercising personal discipline and having outside accountability are helpful to keep us on track!
What are your favorite things about homeschooling?
I’m so glad you asked! My list has evolved over the years but is also ever-growing.
My first answer will always be time. It is the only thing we can never get back. The average student spends roughly 1,400 hours a year at school. From K-12th grade that equals a large portion of childhood.
While it is physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting being responsible for your kiddos all day, every day, I do not regret a minute of it. Are there things I wish I had done differently? Of course. Would I trade it for anything? Absolutely not.
They grow so fast. Much to their embarrassment, I already tear up at the mere thought of any of them moving away as adults, as I genuinely love their company. But I have the unique gift of knowing that I did not miss a moment of their childhoods. I watch as they read their first words, add for the first time without counting their fingers, see their faces light up as they discover new fascinating topics, hold them when they struggle, and cheer when they master a skill. I cherish every dance break, every toothless grin, bouncing babies while scribbling on the marker board, and challenging higher-level thinking in debate, but mostly, I will spend a lifetime thankful for every second I’ve spent soaking in their precious faces.
We get to determine what the most important goals are for our family. For us, academic success is high on the list. But more than that, I want my children to grow to be kind and loving. I want them to test what they are taught to discover facts themselves. I don’t want them to blindly assume my faith, I want them to comprehend and encounter God themselves. I hope they benefit from having a loving adult guide them as they navigate relationships, strife, and triumph.
The flexibility is also huge. We can travel, arrange our daily and weekly schedules, and rest as we need. Because each child can learn at his or her own pace instead of tracking with a classroom, we can usually move through lessons much faster than a typical school. Homeschooling can take anywhere from an hour for a very young child, to several hours for a high schooler. This frees up time to master other skills and talents, or study specific interests at a deeper level. As a family with significant medical needs, we spend a lot of time traveling to specialist appointments. It is easy for us to bring books along or double up our lessons for a day to stay on track.
As the kids get older, they learn personal discipline and accountability for their own education. My eldest daughter has a checklist of each lesson at the beginning of the year. She has more freedom to decide how fast or slowly she wants to complete her yearly goals. Last year, she finished her entire reading program in two months! We were able to gain almost a whole academic year supplementing with even more classic literature, biographies, and fun novels she had been eyeing.
Each child has his or her own strengths. No child (or adult!) loves every single subject. When a skill is harder to learn, we have the time to truly master it before moving on to the next level.
I can’t pretend that homeschooling is the easiest lifestyle, but it has been the best choice for us so far.
What would you say to someone considering homeschooling or just starting?
Breathe.
Take a breath and then determine your biggest long-term goals for your children. I listed a few of mine above but yours might be different. Once you identify what you want the finish line to look like spiritually, emotionally, developmentally, and academically, work backwards to establish how you will get there.
Don’t be afraid to try new things. Something that works for your neighbor may not work best for you. Consider each child and make a conscious effort to study how he or she learns best, then adapt where needed.
Remember there are no academic emergencies. My best friend says this a lot and it has helped calm me on some stressful days. If long division has everyone at the table in tears, go bake some brownies and come back to it later. It is ok for each child to learn each subject at a different pace. You are focusing on growth in all areas- emotions, maturity, AND academics. It’s ok if you feel like you’ve stalled in one area temporarily. That doesn’t mean other areas aren’t growing.
Be open to letting your homeschool look different than traditional schooling. Homeschooling has pros and cons just like going to school. Lean into the pros. Spread out a blanket in the backyard and eat a snack while you go through the spelling list. Think about a unique schedule. You have the freedom to school all year with multiple breaks or plan to have a four-day school week. (Be sure to check your state’s laws to ensure you are reaching the required number of school days.) When you go on a trip, look around for educational activities you might not have access to at home.
Don’t think of homeschooling as, “How much can I teach?” but instead, “How can I teach my child to LOVE learning?” A child who loves learning will spend the rest of his or her life eager to continue. A child burnt out and overwhelmed by a heavy workload will begin to see learning as a burdensome task instead of a gift. Homeschooling done well can greatly impact a child’s desire to grow and learn forever.
I also like to focus heavily on a love of reading. A person who discovers that all sorts of knowledge and adventure await on pages of new books is capable of learning almost anything. Especially in the early years of learning to read, make it a joy, not a chore or a highly pressured achievement. A child who knows curiosity leads to finding answers in books will likely retain that eagerness to learn new topics throughout his lifetime. Reading then shifts from a requirement to a treasure hunt. A person with strong reading abilities might find upper level and collegiate classes easier because he can learn regardless of the teacher’s communication skills.
There is no “right” way to homeschool. As long as your children are learning and you are following the law appropriately, there is a variety of great ways to teach your kiddos at home. Some kids like to watch videos of teachers in a traditional classroom. Others like to sit on the couch cuddled up under a blanket with you as you read.
Tread cautiously when anyone definitively declares there is only one correct way to school your child, whether that is public, private, or homeschool. Listen to sound wisdom, especially from trusted voices who know you personally, and pray fervently. God knows your family better than anyone. Trust Him to lead you through His Word and in prayer, and then do whatever He says.
I’m praying for your school year with you,
